Desire & Diligence

Definitely more questions than answers.

Have you ever written something that you feel is almost impossible to convey the thoughts that you are having? This post, for me, is an expression of that tension. I would consider this the first iteration of a line of thought that I have been working through for several years. Please enjoy the near ramblings of this post. If you have any thoughts please comment below!

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What does desire look like? Is it different from diligence? I have often heard this conversation stated in terms of motivation vs. discipline, but I want to put a different spin on these questions. 

I am a chronic daydreamer, my mind is a territory filled with crossroads leading to wonder-filled destinations and I want to travel them all. Yet I am a sort of realist, knowing the limits of myself and more or less risk averse. I probably fall into the research into infinity camp. The things I do start, I tend to get burnt out on. Why is that? Is it a lack of desire or a lack of diligence? Did I not want it enough? Or did I not stick with it regardless of my state of desire?

Photo by Michael Martinelli on Unsplash

These questions are the foundation of the theme I want to explore. I want more than mere mindless obedience. I want to really feel it, you know. I want to put my heart and soul into a thing. I want to write like I mean it, not just because I have to, even though there are times when it must be done. I do not merely want to follow Jesus but love him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Sometimes it feels like the chicken and the egg scenario. What came first, the desire or the diligence? The desire obviously, one would be tempted to say, yet why does it seem so transient? Diligence is supposed to come later? Like a habit? Or do I need diligence to form the habit? Or maybe still the habit of diligence. Consistently following through. This still leaves desire. Where does that come in?

I think desire can be a perilous trait because it is a leading passion. It gets you going in a certain direction but can desert you faster than a Colorado thunderstorm. But like that storm, it creates a powerful impetus, a catalyst. The fall and sin have warped and twisted this into a sinful shell of its former self. Now instead of Agape love we get mobs and destruction, in place of sacrifice and devotion to God we get crimes of passion and abuse. 

Is desire bad? Yes and no. Desire for the wrong thing is bad. Like the desire to watch TV instead of helping your wife, or stealing money from work. Bad desires span the spectrum of human experience.

But there is a good desire. A sole desire that is good, true, and beautiful. An aim that fuels our passion for a single thing, like following the trunk of a tree up and up, and discovering the higher you go the more branches you see. This is the good desire. The desire to love God, or the desire for God. The one true God and His Son Jesus Christ. 

When we have this desire in its proper place things begin to make sense. It is a war and a daily battle to place that desire in its right place. We must subject our desire to the desire for God. You cannot have the branches without the tree. You could cut the branches off and keep them for yourself, but without the trunk, they are prone to perish. 

So maybe we nailed down desire, maybe more like we grabbed the kite in a windstorm. But that leaves us with diligence. We started to love God, he is our desire. We long to love him, to serve him, to follow his will. But what is the point? Is there satisfaction in our desiring? What could be worse than an unfulfilled desire? The good thing is that there is satisfaction in God, supreme satisfaction. He is what makes all other things have the possibility of being satisfying. 

We are now tracking somewhere. We are on the right road. How do we stay on it? What if I lose the desire? Can I lose the desire? How do I stay diligent? Do I need to be diligent or will my desire carry me through? These are good questions, but they are only one side of the picture. I believe desire in our daily life is subjected to the desire to love and live for God. When I desire to go to work I do it to honor him. I do it also to support my family which is also honoring the Lord. When I eat a meal I do it to sustain myself, but I can do it in a way that honors the Lord.

I believe that God enables me to be diligent in life. This enablement carries me through all manner of seasons, good, bad, highs and lows. He teaches me diligence because he has been and is diligent toward me and creation. His plans and will are still in motion. He has not quit. Even though I have quit on many things he has not quit on us. 

His patience has taught me to value the right things. When I value the right things I can honor the Lord in them. That is a good desire, this desire feeds the diligence of honoring the Lord which God sees and is pleased by. He further enables me to honor him which grows my desire to love him. This cycle which (God sustains and grows) enables me to enjoy the world with right eyes. His strength carries me through the dry spells and low points, and his Spirit sustains me in the war against the flesh. 

So, is it desire or diligence? Yes, both, with discernment, or wisdom. I would differentiate wisdom from knowledge. Wisdom is knowledge properly applied in a God-honoring way. Every day we are faced with thousands of decisions, to carry on the same as we did yesterday. We choose to go to work, to put on matching socks, go to bed late. These are all choices, although some are easier to choose than others. 

Who decides which choices are good and which are not? How do I stay diligent on any one thing? These questions are important. We need a standard that is outside of ourselves that we adhere to and that requires adherence from us.

When we subject our desires to something outside of ourselves (and that something is God, who doesn’t change) that standard is constant and reliable. We are free to desire him and place our trust in him. When God is the standard then there is hope and peace. 

These things were profound to me when I understood them. There is still a battle against sin and the war rages on in my body and the world around me. But since I have hope I can say as the author of Ecclesiatsers “It is best to fear God and keep his commandments.” And I have even more hope because I know and believe the truth. Assuredly, all Christians have this faith and hope in Jesus. 

This desire for God leads us to act in certain ways. Our diligent desire compels us to believe in a way that honors him because God loved us first we can love others. When Jesus Christ loved me and told me to love my neighbor, enemy, and brother, I now have a directive and a direction in which to move. The train of diligence has left the station, powered by God’s Spirit in me, which enables me to carry on down the tracks of life. 

This diligence should manifest itself as consistent character traits, identified in the Bible as the fruits of the Spirit. These fruits are brought about by the the work of God in us through our trusting, desiring, and walking in them, rather than the business of the flesh. When we walk according to the spirit we crucify the flesh and live for God. We no longer live for ourselves, so we do not live for our desires but we live for God and what he says is good to desire. We do not become robots or mindless machines, we become sanctified free persons. God has promised he will sanctify us. H will change us in time closer to the image of his Son. He takes our desires, sanctifies them, and gives them back to us. Now we can do all things, whatever we eat or drink to the glory of God. 

Ultimately, here is where the rubber meets the road. A dying to self and the old fallen way of things. Submitting ourselves to the loving care of God and placing our lives in the salvation of Jesus Christ. We yield our desires to him and he sanctifies us. Like a tree that is planted beside the streamer will grow and bear fruit. It is a yielding to the light, the water, and the soil. The tree does not resist but needs them. Like a Father with a son, he cares about our desires and wants to give us the better thing. The great thing about it all is He can. And he has already in the saving act of Jesus Christ on the cross. He gave us the greatest gift to desire.